WHEN IT ALL GOES HORRIBLY WRONG . . .

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. Looking at the following painting for too long may result in sudden onset screaming. If you have previously looked outside at the sunshine on snow, temporary snow blindness may also result. Additional symptoms may include sudden nausea or headache. If any of these symptoms occur, seek alcoholic counsel and lay down immediately. If symptoms persist, click out of this post and consult another immediately.

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As I took the last step off the staircase this morning, I found myself looking directly at the piano, with my “white” peony painting sitting there. 

I was suddenly rendered motionless, as my internal voice began screaming:“Man, oh man, that is one of the worst paintings you have ever done. It looks like a flying saucer suspended over a green background. We gotta do something about that. We need a plan of attack – a knife should do the trick! – but first, we need coffee.”

Later, fortified with caffeine and realizing that (a) it’s acrylic, I can change anything! and (b) a (palette) knife should do the trick (hey, I bought a set, may as well try them out!) - I was ready to tackle the beast. (Even my camera was a little afraid of the real thing - trust me – these photos don’t even begin to do it justice!).

I circled warily - a quick grab! - hold on tight - grab the white acrylic paint and go for it!

Here is the internal dialog as it occurred:
“Careful, it’s getting away again – Needs color – Rhonda said purple – Spray! Now! – Too much – More paint – Step back – Again! – Teresa said “high key” – More white . . .”

And then the Paint Police arrived: “Ma’am, put down that brush and step away from the painting”.

After some time passed and I didn’t think I could possibly do any more damage, once again I propped it on the piano for review. I have a friend who is a great (and honest) critique-er, but since she’s nowhere around today, I’ll have to settle for the next best thing – The Husband.

After 32 years of marriage, I really don’t need my husband in the room in order to have a conversation with him – I pretty much know what he will say!  In this case I'm predicting something like this:  he will stand about 10 ft. or less from the painting, give a heavy sigh, stare, then say something like "it's too fuzzy" and "I don't like the colors."

And now, here is the actual conversation that took place as he viewed the painting:
Him:  standing about 5 -10 ft. from the painting, taking a long and heavy sigh.  "I don't know what that is on the right.  You have green over there but not down here, I don't know what this color is supposed to be.  It's too fuzzy."
Me:  "So you think I should change it?"
Him:  "It's probably too late to change it now.  You had it with the green background, I liked that.  And you had the petals, now you lost them down here.  Over here (pointing) you have the petals defiined, and here (pointing) and here (pointing).  You don't have the petals all defined down here (pointing)."

I wasn't too far off the mark!  And now, it's your turn - critique away!!!!!

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Well, what can I say (especially after my big lecture on “high key” paintings!!!) – sometimes the best of intentions fall far short of the goal.

This one will be a do over (some day).

My apologies to Nick Simmons for even mentioning his techniques in these last couple of posts!

But I’m taking full credit for the creation of the newest painting technique sweeping the country – masking tape petal edges (although I’ll need a catchier phrase – I’ll have to give that some thought)**.

In the meantime, I’ll be sitting quietly, sipping some form of (maybe alcoholic??) beverage, perusing some magazines for good art while my mind slowly erases the horrors it has seen today.

** So far I’m thinking: ruffling petal technique or ruffled edge technique. Any thoughts on this??

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Later in the day:
P.S.  This thing is beginning to grow on me!  Am I coming down with the dreaded "cabin fever" ?  Or is it SNOWMAGEDDON (a term being used by one of our local weathermen) - the constant and non-stop falling of snow for 24 hours or longer which causes lack of sunlight which causes Vitamin A and D definiciency which thereby affects eyesight so that we think everything white(ish) looks normal?
P.P.S  Maybe I'll call it "Snow Peony" or "Olympic Peony" or "Crap".